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life is beautiful

by Anderson Ragan

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1.
2.
slowdance 03:03
put the phone in the freezer so you can't hear it ring wait at the stop sign for it to turn green i'm reading some shakespeare alone in my room deciding if i'll get up anytime soon i wanna slow down time to make untimely decisions live and make lively visions we scream out anthems, say we're scraping by in oceans of flowers we're just bugs and flies a rose: our bed & breakfast like the sun itself i'm the son of a son of a son of someone else right hand flashing at 99 i'll avoid a crowd to find my light i wanna slow down
3.
revisiting our youth maybe our ideas weren't so juvenile arbitrary exercise ignorance laments all the while the arrogance to have self-confidence
4.
tabsom 01:20
5.
late at night when i am feeling my worst i will lie in the street and let the road keep me warm your fist on the door like a battering ram i remember the way that you knocked but if you knew me at all you wouldn't hit so hard cause you know i leave it unlocked
6.
i put on the same shirt as yesterday no one here i want to impress after all i don't need your approval above all i like how i dress i got people to talk to but they don't talk to me i got places to walk to but you won't walk with me it's always on my mind if i get out of bed i'll check the mail i can't wake up this time i left your letters out and they got stale
7.
buddha 02:20
everyone is crying except me look at how happy i can be you used to be strong you used to reach for more maybe this is me getting stronger the years are getting short and the nights are getting longer its cold in this house like porcelain tiles you bled me out and left me to die all alone in a museum of fine arts in boston the cigarettes you left on the table buddha lies and tells you a fable of hot air balloons made out of stone i wish i was stone
8.
august 02:31
in my room on a wednesday evening packing up everything i own august, i didn't want this if the past recedes, i can only hope for one thing i waited eight months now i'm moving out i wasted eight months now i'm losing doubt
9.
@god 02:22
jesus was a feminist he wasn't very white everyone is arguing they all claim to be right match sticks on fire don't smoke that in my house everyone is certain but i still have my doubts i don't wanna be wrong step out of your cave give me all that you can you're a burn on the roof of my mouth it feels likes sand try a new size but i doubt it will fit so start up your car and drive to forget
10.
i dreamt of her again only this time the apology would last we embraced as we once had forgetting our own rocky past now I’m holding on to my memory visions, illusions, its all i can get but its for the best, i promise you cause you can’t miss what you forget turn another page, i’m writing a book you’ll never read between the lines we sat it’s fuzzy, it’s slow, its just what i need
11.
why do i want to get more out of each day and everytime it comes why does it never stay what did you think of me when you walked out cause now i don't think that we'll talk this out sometimes when i'm with them there is a god but most days she's deaf so they end up in sod every tree that grew in your yard is random at best any chance of uniqueness is soon laid to rest waiting for life to begin or restart
12.
bring me back to life haven't felt alright since i left your house bleed my fingers dry to match my eyes rotten and useless i'm not what you thought it's not what you think you can leave me to drown in the kitchen sink i've been rewalking paths for some clarity but as the sun sets you sleep without me i feel so bad what was i thinking? i guess i was right it should be me by your side
13.
exeunt 00:44
have a heart i have half a brain i haven't felt fine in a year without rain

about

written between 2015 and 2016
recorded on my laptop in various bedrooms i inhabited at the time

credits

released December 28, 2016

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Anderson Ragan North Carolina

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